I became a Calmer Parent when I Realised this about Emotions
A few days ago, sitting in a café, the sound of a little girl's frustrated wail tugged at my heartstrings. It was like hearing an echo from my own childhood. Her mom's increasingly agitated pleas of "Stop being such a drama queen!" only fueled the fire. I could feel the tension rising, and it felt all too familiar.
Mama bear, I get it. Those emotional outbursts from our little ones can push our buttons like nothing else. It's easy to get caught in a cycle of escalating reactions, leaving everyone feeling frazzled and disconnected.
But watching this scene unfold, I had a lightbulb moment:
Think back to your own childhood tantrums. Did you want someone telling you to stop feeling what you were feeling? Probably not. And guess what? As adults, it's the same story. When my husband tells me to "calm down" during a moment of frustration, it's like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
Telling ourselves or our kids to "get over it" simply doesn't work. It's like trying to extinguish a fire with gasoline – it only makes things worse.
So, What's the Magic Formula?
Meet Emotions With Compassion: Instead of dismissing those big feelings, lean into them. Say to your child, "I can see you're really angry/sad/scared right now. It's okay to feel that way."
Validate, Validate, Validate: Help your child understand that their feelings make sense. "It makes total sense you're upset because..."
Offer a Safe Space: Sometimes all they need is a warm hug or a listening ear to feel safe enough to let those emotions flow.
Teach Them the Tools: Once the storm has passed, you can gently guide them towards healthy ways to express their emotions and cope with challenges.
Embracing this approach has been a game-changer for my family. Instead of battling against those big emotions, we've learned to navigate them together. It's like we've found a secret language of love and understanding.
Mama, you're not alone in this. We all have moments of overwhelm, and our children are still learning how to manage their emotions.
Let's extend the same kindness and compassion to ourselves and our little ones that we'd offer a friend in need. By honouring those emotions, we create a space where everyone feels safe, heard, and loved. And that, my friend, is the foundation for a calmer, happier home.
